I got married way too young. A lot of my 20s has been spent doing things to help my husband achieve his goals and dreams. I came to the realisation I didn’t really know myself or what I wanted as an independent person; I’ve just been going along with what he wants. After we talked about it, we agreed to a temporary separation with no contact so I could figure things out for myself. Both of our families thought this was a bad idea, but they claimed they would respect our decision.
About three months ago, I randomly started receiving gifts which were always things I mentioned I needed/wanted to my family members in passing. I even tested it by mentioning random things, but it was when I mentioned I needed this expensive necklace and it showed up a week later that I knew it definitely wasn’t my family sending me them. I ended up logging into my husband’s amazon account and sure enough, he was sending me the gifts, which is nice of him but also, I feel like no one is respecting my decision and they’re all dictating my life again. This also has me really worried about what other things they’ve been telling him.
I have confronted them about it but they’re all denying it was them and I cannot prove who it was. I personally have a strong suspicion they’re all in on it, but I don’t know how to prove it. My husband has done a lot for my family, so I understand they have a sense of loyalty towards him, but it really feels like they’re choosing him over me.
What do I do now? I don’t want to confront my husband over it because I feel like that’s their end goal (and was also my mum’s first suggestion when I confronted them). Also, money and gifts are one of the few things we fought over before separating and I really don’t want to have the same argument again.
TL;DR – My husband and I are taking a break and are supposed to be NC. My family, however, have been updating him about me but denied it when I confronted them.