My partner (27M) likes to get black out drunk frequently and I (23F) hate when he does.
We’ve been dating for almost 3 years (2018), we’ve lived together for over 2 years and we’ve been engaged for 1 year now. There’s not much mystery left between us and we’ve had a lot to knit pick about each other. We both have pet peeves and like every relationship, we have our ups and down. But we still love each other very much. We even just bought a house together. But one thing I just can’t live with is the fact he likes to get black out drunk and frequently. And I’m someone who never drinks, I don’t like how it feels and my father and his father (as well as my partners father) are all alcoholics so it’s a sensitive subject. The first year of our relationship was amazing, it wasn’t until one year in that he got so drunk at a gig (at a bar) that he didn’t remember the drive home and he passed out as soon as we got home and I didn’t know he was black out until the next morning when he couldn’t remember anything. Well life went on and then that October (‘19) at a Halloween party he got black out again, we had to leave early and he started the worst argument of my life on the way home, he said some terrible things and he didn’t remember any of it. But I stayed. Then shortly after he got drunk again and again and it got worse and worse. He blacked out when we were around my friends and said some mean things to me in front of them. Shortly after that I asked him what was the longest he had ever gone without drinking and he said he hadn’t gone without since he turned 21. So he took 30 days to not drink and it was very very hard on him. He wanted it everyday and when he did start drinking again he broke all the rules he made (like drinking in moderation and no social drinking because that’s when he’s the worst) and it’s been down hill ever since. I think today is my breaking point. We were suppose to hang out with my friends and he got so drunk while I was out shopping that he was stumbling about and slurring his words and couldn’t remember a convo we had 5 minutes ago and now he’s passed out on bed. I just don’t know what to do anymore. It makes me so uncomfortable to be around him when he’s like this, I have to walk on eggshells and it’s just plain annoying. I need advice from anyone who cared long enough to read this.
TL;DR I don’t like when my fiancé gets black out drunk. I’ve talked with him about it and he continues to do it. He’s not always nice when he blacks out. He’s tried not drinking and he couldn’t go more than 30 days without beer. His father is an alcoholic. I can’t be around him when he’s like that and I can’t see a future where this is my life. In need of some serious advice because I’m not ready for this relationship to be over yet. He loves everything about me, flaws and all and it took way too long to find someone like that.