My (F20) boyfriends (M22) birthday is coming up and in the past (we have been dating for 2 years) we’ve always spent our birthdays together. A few weeks ago I asked him what he wanted to do/who he wanted to spend his birthday with and he said me. He also said that his friends were also asking him and his family. And I asked him are you sure? Like you don’t want to spend it with them and he said no I want to spend it with you.
Recently we’ve been kind of distant though. I’m still in school and he’s already graduated so we don’t live in the same city we live about 45 min from each other so we don’t see each other everyday. We’ve been distant, we haven’t been fighting or arguing, just distant. And it’s happened before in the past and then we just get over that and become close again.
Well last night he told me that he has reconsidered and no longer wants to do something with me for his birthday. He said that he doesn’t want to have a bad birthday and his supposed to be his day and he wants to do what he wants and he doesn’t want to be worrying and stressed that it’s going to turn out sour. I felt very hurt when he said that because I felt like he was saying that I would be the reason his birthday goes bad and I already was planning something for him bc it’s coming up soon. He’s the kind of person that always puts other people’s needs before him and he never does things for himself so he was saying that this was his birthday and he wanted to be selfish for one day and enjoy a day that is about him without worrying it’s gonna go wrong.
His birthday is on a Monday so then I asked him okay well are we going to see each other some other day on the weekend (fri, sat or sun) bc that’s usually when we see each other, and he said probably not. Bc he didn’t know what he was going to do, like maybe his friends or family were going to have something planned for him since he will probably be working on his bday. I felt crushed bc he wasn’t even willing to see me any day or put me as a priority. He didnt want to celebrate his birthday with me at all.
And the worse part is that 2 days after his birthday is actually our 2 year anniversary. So I feel like the mood for that is just ruined.
I just want to know, am I overreacting? Is it actually okay that he wants that? And should I just be happy with it and be okay?
TL;DR: boyfriend decided he doesn’t want to spend his birthday at all because he wants to have a good day where he isn’t worrying and stressed.