I found out I was pregnant after my ex (Luca) and I had already broken up. I was living with my sister at the time and she offered to watch my son whilst I went to work at a “discounted rate” (she used to be a nanny). At first, it worked out really well, but she gradually started increasing the price as time went by. She also started charging me more rent despite my son and I only occupying one room, whilst her, her husband and her two children had three rooms between them. Whenever I would complain about how I was eating into my savings paying for childcare and was going to find a job where I could work from home, she kept insisting I should just make Luca pay more child support or ask his parent’s for the money.
To his credit, Luca was already paying more than he legally had to and had already increased it twice to try and mitigate the rising childcare costs. Things got messy when he was visiting our son and my sister kept calling him a deadbeat. The next time he was supposed to visit he asked me to bring our son to his house instead because he wanted to talk privately without her.
He showed me the market rate of a nanny in our area to prove she was massively overcharging me. He also showed me the rent price of houses in my area to prove I was likely paying more than half of the rent, despite only using a quarter of the rooms. We had already started dating again by this point too, so he suggested I move in with him because the schools in his area are much better than where I was living also.
I gave my sister two months warning that I was going to move out. This already caused a huge stir in my family and they kept insisting moving in with Luca was a mistake even though he wouldn’t ask me for money every single time I asked him if he could watch our son for five seconds but since we kept using my sister as a nanny temporarily, they didn’t complain too much. Then the lockdown started and both me and Luca were working from home, my hours were also cut a lot, so we didn’t really need my sister to watch our son anymore.
The problem is now Luca has to start travelling again for business which means he won’t be here as often to help me watch our son and my hours are increasing again. We’ve started looking for another nanny but haven’t had much luck yet.
The topic came up whilst I was skyping my mum and she suggested I just ask my sister again. When I told her, I didn’t want to she gave me a long lecture about why I should. She also said I was the reason my sister had to move into a smaller place and what I did was very selfish. I ended up hanging up on her, but my parents have both been calling and texting me non-stop about this.
They think Luca is “pulling me away from my family so he can manipulate me” and that he made all of that stuff about overcharging me up so he could get out of paying child support. They’ve also brought up our breakup and keep using that as a reason I shouldn’t stay with him because “he hasn’t really changed”. They also bring up his parents’ a lot and say my son is going to turn out like them if I’m not careful (they think they’re snobby). They’re also threatening to not speak to me unless I rehire my sister.
My sister has also called me crying about how she’s been really struggling since I left and she’s guilting me for robbing her of time with her nephew.
I really don’t know what to do now. I feel really guilty but at the same time I know Luca won’t budge on rehiring her even if I suggest it. What do I do now?
TL;DR – My sister massively overcharged me for both childcare and rent. I need a nanny again and my family want me to use her, but I would rather get a different nanny.