I touched my sleeping grandmother when I was 13.
I have had a pretty normal life, and I consider myself to not be a very bad person. I always thought I was a decent person, but I have a problem that I have held onto for a long time, and I feel bad about it. When I was 13, I was sleeping in a hotel room with my grandmother. I have always been close with my grandma, and I love her very much.
And one night, when she had fallen asleep, I decided to make a very horrible, disgusting decision. I went to her bed, lifted up the covers, and put my hand on her butt. She then woke up, and I played it off like I heard a loud noise. She went back to bed, and I felt immediately guilty. I felt horrible. I had only heard of that kind of stuff and had never thought I would be the type of person to do something like that.
I went through the next week or so filled with guilt, to the point of almost throwing up. And then one day I felt so terrible for what I had done that I called my grandmother to confess. I told her what I had done to her, and she wasn’t upset. She actually laughed. She told me that she understood, and that I was a young boy, and my hormones were flying all over the place, and a mix of bad judgement, and my young brain made me make that mistake.
She told me how much she loved me, and how I make her life so much better, since she had been sad since my grandfather died. I told her I loved her and went to sleep. I then told her the next day how sorry I was, and I seemed to be more broken up then she was. She found it funny and seemed it to be a funny story, about a “minor silly mistake” I made.
I realize how terrible my actions were, and feel very guilty and remorseful, but I know I’m not a pervert. I have never done anything of the sort since, which I don’t think I deserve a medal for, but I know I at least have a conscious, and am glad I told my grandmother, since that’s all I could do.
I expect to be judged by all of you, and I deserve it. But that’s not who I am. It was a terrible thing, but we’ve all done terrible things, and made bad mistakes. I am just glad my mistake didn’t harm anyone for the worse.