So I’m a Security contractor (read:guard),and I’m basically an on call 24/7 officer with on site shifts 5 days a week in charge of a shopping plaza of about 20 odd stores. I’m good at my job but am very aware of where my authority ends, at the door of every business, I handle the plaza as a whole and am in charge of all the exterior of the building and parking lots areas. I will occasionally be asked to “spook” someone, keep a look out, or back up a manager at a shop, but they are fully aware that if i did anything it’d be as a private citizen because while I’m in their store I’m a customer.
That being said i do go into the shops, to shop, and for the most part I’m talking with employees, joking around grabbing food and getting out.
If stopped and asked I usually will lend a hand but again I don’t work there.
Lastly I only have 3 people who can override my authority on the post my 2 direct bosses, and the property manager. All 3 love me, because again I’m good at my job. We all have a “the truth shall set you free” kind of understanding of how any complaints go, and my word is above reproach in their eyes.
(I have stories about those complaints rare as they are)
Karen is a regular but she doesn’t bother me anymore. And here is her story.
It starts off with me, going into the grocery store in my post, as I’m walking down one of the aisles an elderly lady stops me to ask if I could grab an item off the top shelf for her, no big deal I’m 6’3″ but I’m a friendly giant to her 4ft and shrinking self, I obliged and moved on my merry way, and then I hear snapping behind me, I don’t like that, ever ,karen is snapping her fingers at me and shouting down the aisle at me like a dog, but she might have a genuine complaint about something in my area so let me aee what she wants. Nope.
K: It’s about time I have been waiting here for 10 minutes, now I can’t find any of *brand* dogfood…
Go the back and get me some.
Me: I don’t work here, I cannot “go in the back” and do anything for you. Look for someone in a green polo (I’m in a grey and black security uniform, pretty standard)
K: oh bs you just helped her, you can help me
M:even if I wanted to help you,which I don’t
I’m not able to, because I…don’t…work …HERE.
I walk away as she is exploding in obscenities at me, whatever, I pay for my items and go sit in my vehicle on my job site. Karen comes out onto my site fuming about 15 minutes later. (Learned after the fact that she had gone up to grocery store manager and complained about me to which he just shrugged and said he doesn’t work for us he’s a customer)
Karen stands by her vehicle and opens a whole bag of bread freshly bought and starts throwing it in clumps on the ground. I get out of my vehicle and approach Karen as she is now “my problem”.
M: ma’am I’m going to ask you to stop littering
K: f you im feeding the ducks
M: ok ma’am im going to ask you to stop feeding the ducks and leave the property.
K:f you you f’n s.o.b, what are you going to do about it, “YOOOUUU DOONNTT WORK HEEERRREEE”
M: no ma’am I don’t work for *shopname* I work for the property that they rent from, the part you’re standing on, the part you’re currently littering on, the part that if you dont leave I’ll be forced to take the next legal action available to me. Now it’s your choice, you can go or you can stay, but what happens next is on you.
K: continues tirade
M: ok your call
I call the locals. They show up i tell them what’s up, karen goes nuclear level karen, gets told to leave or risk fines and trespassing etc etc, they don’t want to deal with her either. I’m not pressing for anything just to have her gone, I’m leaning against my car just watching.
Officer comes back from running her ID, instant handcuffs. Apparently someone skipped a court date and had a bench warrant, oops good job karen.
She gets hauled off to jail.
And later that evening her car gets towed for leaving it on the property overnight (not me, another company)
My final interaction with Karen happened a few days later.
I’m on site, another day another dollar, I spot 3 or 4 women huddled over something, so I go to investigate, a baby bird fell out of a nest, i offer to take care of it and scoop it up into my hand and it cuddles into my beard.
Three soccer moms clap and coo cause it’s kinda cute, 4 looks me dead in the eye and says “Youuu, you’re that ASSHOLE” .
Her cohorts turn to me and I smile and say “Yes ma’am I certainly am” and walk away with new bird friend.
Karen has never bothered me again.