Have been a faithful reader. Never thought I would be posting. Live in a small town. A really small town. I Make one trip a year to the nearest ‘city’ for the basics like shoes, eye exams, chain stores! And I got to observe a real life Karen in the wild! In a store that was not owned by mom and pop. Quite an experience!
Wandering through the bark collar isle of a pet store. Lemon mist, nope. Vibrate only, nope. Sonic only, nope…
And mid bark collar shopping I got barked at.
Karen (K) was halfway across the store. She raises her arm and does a limp waive thing and calls out “paper towels”.
I was looking for an employee to help me free a collar from the security lock up.
K: paper towels! *(louder, but not really wanting attention)*
Me: *(looking around and reading each box)*
K: I have an accident here. *(waves the limp arm again and looks around to get help but not wanting eye contact with anyone.)*
Me: *(looking around and reading the card on the lock up item, I like this collar, might work)*
K: Ex-cuse me! *(she is staring down my isle now and wording is just as I had imagined it)*
Me: *(I look behind me to see whom she is speaking to. I really turned around. And no one was there.)*
K: Pa-per tow-els. I need. Pap-per tow-els. Here. Now!
Me: *(i again look behind me. Look at her. Look down at myself. And think in slow motion as she enunciates her words for the stupid deaf employee that I am wearing a red fleese jacket and have my car keys on a lanyard. And it occurs to me that I have neglected a Karen and failed to recognize the limp arm summons for pa-per tow-els.)*
Karen: Yes you. There is a mess here and I can’t clean it without pa-per tow-els.
Me: *(i am literally halfway across a store. Karen is now doing the open palm ‘duh’ pose. I just want my bark collar so I can hit the hardware store for a toilet flapper and then make the 2 1/2 hour drive home before midnight. But I also can’t pass up my only anonymous moment in a year.)* I’m sorry ma’am, are you talking to me?
K: yes! You need to bring me pa-per tow-els!
Me: I can bring you a bark collar.
Karen stomped her foot. Shrieked something about the nerve of me. Something about how she never. Something about fine YOU clean it up. And she exited the store with her dog in tow.
The few patrons who were unlucky enough to be at a pet store at this late hour all looked at her and at me, looked at the puddle and disappeared into the isles… like they were afraid they might be made to clean up the puddle or be offered a bark collar!
And there I stood, alone. In the silent bark collar isle. I guess they only work at close range.