i (19F) don’t know if im asking too much
i (19F) don’t know if im asking too much of my partner (21M).
we both work pretty demanding hours, with me having 2 jobs that can easily reach 50-60 hours a week and his being a lot of manual labour which leaves him tired all them time. we have been together for about a year and a half and since lockdown happened ive been having a lot of time to reflect on our relationship. ive come to the realisation that we dont spend a lot of quality time together (and by that i mean actually go out and do stuff that doesnt involve the rest of his friendship group or that isnt netflix).
ive explained to him that im unhappy about this a couple of times in the most delicate way i could; that i feel like he puts more effort into other things and social gatherings than he does into our relationship. we’ve only gone on about 3-4 dates since we’ve been together and his reasoning for this is that he’s too tired to do anything and any time he does want to do something it has to be “perfect”?
but that just sounds like an excuse because we’ve been together a year and a half and we still haven’t had one “perfect” date yet:(
i do try and suggest things that we could do but it’s always me that comes up with all the ideas and ultimately he doesn’t seem that overall invested in putting in any effort into our relationship even though he says he definitely wants to? his actions dont reflect his words and because of this i just feel like he feels like im not worth the effort and he doesnt really have to try anymore because he’s already “got” me. we don’t have any pictures together at all and he never comments on how i look if ive clearly put a lot of effort into my appearance that day. its absolutely shit that i feel the need to look to my partner for validation but it’s kinda getting to me that he never says anything. to reiterate, i have communicated all of this to him but still 2 weeks on nothing seems to have changed.
am i asking too much from my relationship or is this a valid time to call time of death?
tl;dr ive told my bf that im unhappy about what we do when we spend time together (because we literally do nothing). i don’t know if im asking too much because of the type of job he has and how tired he is when he gets back