I’m trying to see this from my husband’s perspective because I know it sounds bad but he is mostly a pretty nice guy. As you can probably tell, it has bothered me for a long time. I’d really appreciate hearing from guys.
My husband is more than ten years older than me, and about a foot taller and 90 lbs heavier. We started dating my spring break senior year of college. I was a super serious student and had a free ride to grad school lined up. I hadn’t dated at all in college and had sex only twice senior year high school and that was it.
So I was babysitting over spring break, and the mom I was babysitting for kept teasing me about being a nerd and wasting my time in the library and she practically twisted my arm to go out with my future husband. On our second date we had sex. It was bad sex. I bled a little probably from the end of my period. He got all excited thinking I was a virgin so I lied and said I was but also told him it was from the end of my period.
He insisted on taking me camping about a week later at the end of break and said he’d take me back to campus afterwards. Again my babysitting mom pushed me into saying yes. I got a jumbo sized box of condoms because I wasn’t on the pill and was going to be in the middle of my cycle.
So he took me out to the middle of nowhere to set up our camp site and then brought out marijuana which I had never tried before. Then we started making out, and after he got my top and bra off I figured I should get the condoms. I couldn’t find them in my bag, but he barely gave me a minute to look for them before he picked me up, pulled my shorts and panties off in one tug, and then got me on my back and started giving me oral sex for the first time in my life.
I told him we couldn’t go all the way without a condom and he said he wanted me to relax and that he promised he would stop if I really wanted him to.
So I had my first orgasm from a man when he went down on me and was really high from the marijuana and then he slid up my body and we were having outercouse with him rubbing against me and then he starting touching me with his fingers too and kissing my breasts and I had another orgasm. When I started coming he just changed angle a little and pushed inside me and I was so surprised I didn’t say anything because I was really just overwhelmed.
He pulled me up with one of his arms behind me so I could see him inside me without a condom. He said something about how he knew how much I wanted to feel him cum inside me and I started to protest and then he kissed me and touched me and I had another orgasm and then it was too late for the condom.
After that first time I just gave up on birth control for the rest of the camping trip. We smoked a lot of weed and had a lot of sex and I actually lost track of what day it was. When I finally got back to campus I took plan b but it was too late.
I ended up never going to grad school and getting married to him. We now have four kids with a fifth on the way.
I love him but still feel weird about that weekend. What does a guy think?
TL:DR My husband convinced me to have unprotected sex because he wanted to get me pregnant even though we had just started dating.